I hit burnout in 2019. I am not proud of it, and it wasn’t pretty, but it happened. My value came from staying as busy as possible, at work and at home. The community banking organization I was working for at the time was growing rapidly, organically and through acquisition. I managed each system conversion, which included coordinating with employees at the acquired bank. Conversions are not just operational in nature. They are emotional. Each system conversion is a hurricane of change, which comes with frustration, stress, uncertainty and anger. I was the face of that change, at the heart of the storm.
I also had a life outside of work including a husband and two boys who were active in music and sports. I was racing out of work many afternoons to catch their games or concerts, usually on two wheels while texting my husband that I was running late. Why was this happening to me? Why couldn’t I just work a “normal” job? Why was I breaking out in hives and experiencing constant anxiety? I felt stuck in a job that I enjoyed, one I was good at but that was not good for me mentally or physically.
During that time, our team was meeting with a consultant, and we had one-on-one time with her to discuss work issues. As I was talking about my stress levels, she told me something I will never forget, something which changed the trajectory of my life: “You know Christy, you don’t have to stay.” She was right. I was making a choice to stay at an organization that no longer served me well. I could either decide to reengage or move on. I chose to move on.
It was the best decision I made for myself and my family. Looking back at the five years during which the conversions were happening, I justified my busy schedule at the time to myself. With several years of distance, however, I realized that the pace for me personally was unsustainable. Being busy is no longer my default state. I make better choices about how I spend my time and am willing to say no. With so much time spent at work and with leaders who have an inordinate amount of influence on our wellbeing, is it too much to ask to have leaders who do not model constant busyness?
I know that I am not alone and that my experience is not unique, which is the reason I am laying myself bare. Are we afraid we won’t be considered a high performer or overachiever if we aren’t spending every minute of the day being productive? Do we keep ourselves busy because that is what we think others expect of us? Is it due to experiences earlier in life that may influence our decision to work at a frantic pace? The answer depends; we are unique creatures and should be managed as such.
As a leader, self-awareness is key. What behaviors are you modeling that may show your team that you value busyness?
- A team member tries to find time on your calendar for a 30-minute discussion on a pressing issue. When they look at your calendar, they see back-to-back meetings with times where you seem to be double-booked. They need a shoehorn and an abacus to find time.
- You have a habit of working late into the night and sending out email after email. Your team member checks their email the minute they wake up to see if their schedule or assignments changed overnight. Forget waking up to a cup of coffee. How about a gulp of anxiety to start your day?
- During the day, meetings consistently go long, making you late to each consecutive meeting or causing rescheduling due to your overloaded calendar. You are one person. Act like it or find surrogates to attend the other meetings.
These behaviors should not be normalized. Life happens and we get busy, but this should be the exception — not the rule. As leaders gain self-awareness and decide that busyness is not a virtue, they’ll begin to model a healthy work-life balance, and their teams will follow their example.
Christy Baker is a facilitator and coach focusing on organizational health and strategies for Omaha-based Revela. She provides group training and individual coaching and is a former COO for an Iowa-based community banking group. She can be reached at [email protected]. Visit RevelaGroup.com/podcast to learn more.
